PruCan FMLs
by TheFirstDarkblood
Summary: Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML
1. The Dangers of Dating a Canadian

**Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game.****I muted the TV and cuddled up to him.****Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML**

Gilbert loved when Matthew played hockey. He loved the intensity in the other male's eyes. He loved the way his posture changed. He loved the way his voice was suddenly impossible to miss and he went out of his way to shove people around. He especially loved the way they would celebrate when Matthew won. He also loved when Matthew watched hockey, because all those great things were still alight in Matthew when he watched a game, even if it was on television and he had seen it ten times before. However, Gilbert might have felt a little neglected (although he would never admit it) when Matthew would give every ounce of his attention to every single game. But Gilbert had a plan.

Matthew sat on the edge of his couch, cheering on whichever team he was supporting. Gilbert scooted closer to his lover and snuggled against his neck.

"Trying to watch the game," responded the Canadian.

"But, Baby~ I want to cuddle~"

"Cuddle?" repeated Matthew, looking at his boyfriend, hockey mode slipping just a bit. "B-but the game is on. We can cuddle later, eh? After we celebrate," added the now smirking man.

The Prussian pouted and decided to fulfill the plan.

"Please? You fit against me so perfectly. I love you, Birdie."

Canada's eyes softened and he pulled Gilbert closer to his body.

"I love you, too, Gilbert."

The albino smiled and muted the television. When Matthew didn't protest, he turned his attention back to the Canadian. Gilbert softly kissed his lover's neck, receiving appreciative hums. He made his way up to Matthew's ear. He was just about to take the soft lobe in between his teeth, when he found himself smacking into the coffee table, rolling over it, and then falling on the ground, all the while hearing his boyfriend yell, 'GOAL!'

He decided he hated it when Matthew watched hockey.

**A/N: I saw this FML and immediately thought of this. And I imagine that Matthew would shove Gilbert hard enough to send him skidding off the coffee table.**

**Edit: This was originally supposed to be a one shot, but I just get too many ideas from FML, so I decided to make it a little ongoing series with different FMLs. I'll also make some other series for different pairings. If you see an FML that you like and want a story written for, I'll happily accept suggestions!**

**Also, disclaimer I forgot to add: I do not own Hetalia or the FML stories used.**


	2. The Dragon Is Here

**Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster.****Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go.****The dragon is here.****" FML**

It was quiet in the Williams-Beilschmidt household. As cliché as it sounded, it was too quiet. Matthew had been working uninterrupted for almost two straight hours. Fearful for the cleanliness of his house, the Canadian exited his study and went looking for his lover. He wasn't in the living room, or the kitchen, or outside. There was no note, so Matthew knew the Prussian hadn't left. It was very improbable, but perhaps Gilbert was napping. With that thought, the nation carried himself up the stairs and stuck his head through the open bedroom door. There he saw Gilbert sitting on the bed, his laptop open before him-updating his blog, supplied Matthew's mind- and holding Gilbird close to his face.

"I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," whispered the albino.

"Uh, Gil?"

Gilbert looked up in surprise, and then glanced back to his bird.

"I have to go. The dragon is here."

The small ball of yellow fluff was placed atop a mop of silver hair as Gilbert stood and walked toward Matthew.

"Hey, Mattie!"

The nation just rolled his eyes and turned around.

"Just don't destroy anything."

**A/N: This is short, but I think it's cute. And is it weird that this is what I thought of when I read that FML?**

**So, yeah, I love writing FML based ficlets ^^**


	3. His Muffin

**Wow, lately I've been pretty busy with classes, cleaning up my dorm for Thanksgiving break, and my new Doctor Who obsession! But now that I'm actually on break, I really don't have much to do, and my home internet is too slow to stream, so I'll probably update a few times in the next week.**

**Today's FML comes directly from a very awesome reviewer, Yuri N' Chuka.  
**

**I was pulling out my lunch and found out****that my sister ate half of my muffin, so all I had left were dried up fruits****and some nutballs. I expressed this to my boyfriend and his two friends****sitting across from me, and all three of them started laughing until one of****them asked if he could have the other half of my muffin. I didn't really get****it, so I gave it to him. Then the third guy says shouldn't I be giving that to****my boyfriend? A long and embarrassing explanation later, I was ready to die in****a hole when my boyfriend asked me if I was really going to let his friend eat****my muffin. FML**

Matthew sat down at the lunch table beside his boyfriend and across from the rest of the self-proclaimed Bad Touch Trio. Many people wondered how the happy-go-lucky Spaniard fit in there, but Matthew knew that he loved petite Italian males wearing maid's dresses, covered in tomato sauce, and-the Canadian forcefully shook his head, dislodge a rather disturbing conversation from his brain.

"Yes! Feli packed me some pasta!" yelled Gilbert, Matthew's "Prussian" boyfriend. "Man, if West ruins this relationship, I'm gonna be so pissed! Feli makes the best pasta."

The hockey player hummed in agreement as he opened his own brown bag and pulled out half a muffin. He stared at it for a moment before coolly stating, "Alfred at my muffin."

"Was?"

"Alfred ate my muffin."

The three boys snickered as Matthew dug through his bag once more.

"Man, all he left me is dried fruit and nut balls. Stupid jerk."

"Hey, Mathieu?"

The boy in question looked up at his French cousin.

"Yeah?"

"May I eat your muffin?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

Matthew reached across the table to hand the Frenchmen the half eaten muffin. Antonio snickered.

"Shouldn't you be giving your muffin to Gilbert?"

"Well, Francis asked for it, not Gilbert."

"You just let anyone eat your muffin, as long as they ask?" questioned Gilbert in a mock-horrified tone.

Matthew looked around the table hesitantly.

"I think I'm missing something."

"Ah, but of course mon petite Mathieu would not know! He is so innocent~ The muffin is amazing, Mathieu. So warm and soft, it is absolute-"

"It's a vagina."

Face painted red and blinking at the Spaniard owlishly, Matthew mumbled in reply.

"Kesese~ So are you really going to let Francis eat your muffin?"

The Prussian blinked when he noticed his lover's glare.

"I'm not a girl, eh!"

Gilbert eyed his lover warily as he stormed off, and was about to follow him when he heard Francis' voice.

"Oh, Gilbert, your Mathieu's muffin is so tasty!"

Gilbert laughed so hard he fell out of his chair.

**Was-German for 'what'**

**I don't like this. I loved the prompt. I love teasing Matthew and it's my head-cannon that Gilbert often teases him for looking a bit girly. But this could have been so much better. Sorry Yuri :\**

**The beginning bit is kind of... weird, but I just had to add it XD  
**

**I very much love reviews and **_**constructive **_**criticism. I also accept FMLs from reviewers. I'll try to write reviewer given FMLs first, and they don't have to be PruCan either. Just tell me which pairing/character/group of characters you want it to be about!**


	4. Santa Baby

**Here's another one. This FML was already on my list, but lunareclipse3 requested it, so I moved it to the top of the pile!**

**Today, when I came home from work, I saw my wife in nothing but black boots and a Santa hat. ****My boss and coworker were with me. ****I now have guys wanting to have a threesome with us. ****FML**

Gilbert hummed as he walked up the steps of his porch, Francis and Antonio behind him.

"If we're lucky, Mattie will make us pancakes. But I don't know, because he tries to restrict my intake."

"Oh, that's okay, anything Mathieu makes is delicious. I taught him, didn't I?"

The self-proclaimed Prussian rolled his eyes.

"Oh, yes, let us bow down to the Gourmet King."

Antonio chuckled as Gilbert twisted the door knob.

"You have nothing on my Roma's pizza!"

The door swung open.

"Hey, Gilbert, why don't you come sit on Santa's lap and-Eep!"

Matthew was sitting in a small rocking chair facing the door, wearing nothing but black boots and a Santa hat that was now covering his crotch.

"You didn't tell me you were having the guys over!"

"A hon hon~ Gilbert, perhaps you would like to share mon petite Mathieu in bed tonight?"

"Francis! I'm your first cousin!"

"I was not planning on impregnating you."

A high-pitched squeal interrupted their banter and the three males looked at the Spaniard, who already had his phone pressed to his ear.

"Romanito~! Es muy lindito! Quiero que lo vistas!"

His Spanish then became so rapid, no one could distinguish actual words, although they could very clearly hear, "What? No way am I doing that, you stupid bastard!"

When Gilbert looked back into the house, he noticed his husband gone and turned back to his guests and quickly pushed them out, back onto the porch.

"Sorry guys, but I have a feeling I'm about to get on Santa's naughty list, if you know what I mean."

With a uniquely Gilbert grin, he slammed the door in the two men's faces, and headed off to the bedroom.

**Mon petite (which I just realized I've used before)- French, my little**

**Romanito is like an endearing form of Romano.**

**Es muy lindito! Quiero que lo vistas!- Spanish, It's very cute! I want you to wear it! (Thanks to Ilostmyname and Chillis for Spanish corrections)**

**And yes, Romano is pretty confused at first, but then Antonio rapidly starts talking about the Santa 'outfit' and that's when he starts yelling.**

**For anyone wondering, I decided that Francis is Gilbert and Antonio's boss. He either owns a bakery or restaurant where they serve. Gilbert and Antonio are quite lucky their best friend is their boss or they would probably be fired very quickly. Gilbert because he's Gilbert and Antonio because he likes to spend most of his time talk/texting/thinking about Romano.**

**I've realized that these FMLs aren't turning out so... FML like. That's a problem of mine. I like happy (or happy-ish) endings. My next one will be more FML like though.**

**Please pardon any typos. I've read it over several times, but it's still three in the morning.**

**Please review and tell me what you think or give me constructive criticism! Also remember than I accept FML requests, for any pairing/character/group of characters.**


	5. Impatience

**This would have been up earlier, but I got pretty bummed out because my little sister blew me off. We had been planning on me taking her to see Deathly Hallows for several days. Today, just before I'm about to go pick her up, she calls me and tells me she's not going. I was a little depressed because I'm in college now, and don't really get to spend much time with her. I was so excited, I was even going to use the money I got from a distant relative as a late graduation present, since I don't really have a job or much money. But I'm better now, so enjoy!**

**This FML is from the Bun Kirkland.**

**My crush asked me out through MSN today. I said that I would think about it****and he said 'I would wait forever to be with you'. The next day, I accepted****his offer to go out this saturday. Later that day, his friend told me that he****was going out with my best friend now. FML.**

Matthew spun in slow circles as he read Jane Eyre. He had already read it twice, but that was over a year ago and he wanted to be prepared for Literature class. A ping pulled him from his Victorian world, and he turned to his laptop.

_Awesome Gilbo said:  
_hey mattie  
wut up?

The Canadian stuffed a book mark into the book before turning back to the instant messenger.

_Matthew said:  
_Just reading my assignment for Lit.  
You?

_Awesome Gilbo said:  
_thinkin

_Matthew said:  
_What about?

_Awesome Gilbo said:  
_u  
we should go out

For a few seconds, Matthew didn't breathe. Was Gilbert really asking him out? Funny, popular, _sexy _Gilbert?

_Awesome Gilbo said:  
_like a d8  
saturday  
wut u say?

Yes, yes, yes! Thought Matthew. Quickly, though, he decided he should 'play it cool'.

_Matthew said:  
_Can I think about it?

_Awesome Gilbo said:  
_course. Id wait 4 u 4ever birdie.

_Matthew said:  
_:) Thanks

The next day, Matthew couldn't wait for lunch. The first half of the day seemed to pass as slowly as possible. Finally, the Canadian was able to push his way through the cafeteria doors and head to the "Bad Touch Table". Antonio, a happy-go-lucky Spaniard addicted to a grumpy Italian, was the only person seated at the table. This wasn't unusual, as Francis was often flirting with whoever was semi-willing (or Arthur Kirkland, a no-nonsense Englishman), Antonio was generally attached to aforementioned Italian, and Gilbert loved pulling pranks. Matthew sat down across from the upper-classman, who looked up from his cell phone.

"Hey…"

"Matthew."

"Right. Sorry, Matthew," repented Antonio, looking around the cafeteria nervously. "I'm trying to find out where my Romanito is. I promised I would bring him tomatoes for lunch. He'll be upset if he doesn't get them!"

The ignored boy hummed sympathetically.

"Where's Gilbert?"

"Gilbert? Oh, he's with Alfred, of course."

Blond eyebrows scrunched together.

"Alfred? Why would he be with Alfred?"

"He's dating Alfred."

"Wh-what? Since when?"

"This morning! I think they're great for each other, don't you? They both have really large egos. They can talk about how awesome they are!"

"Y-yeah…"

Matthew couldn't believe it. Gilbert had said he would wait for him forever! That wasn't even twenty-four hours ago! Now he was dating Matthew's best friend. His best friend who _knew_ how he felt about Gilbert. He felt betrayed on so many levels.

"Oh! ROMA!"

The Spaniard suddenly bolted from the table, leaving Matthew alone in his misery, and with a perfect view of Gilbert and Alfred laughing boisterously.

**I hope you like it Bun!**

**-.-' I'm typing this up in my family's office, which shares a wall with my sister's room. I've just had to turn music on for the third time since her fiancé showed up… It's okay, though, 'cause I'm listening to Winter.**

**On a different note, writing Gilbert's part of the MSN was like stabbing myself in the hand. I try to be as grammatically correct and spell as well as possible in texts/IMs, so this was difficult for me to do.**

**Remember, if you see or experience something FML-worthy, and think of Hetalia, send it to me in a review or pm and I'll write it up! Even if you don't want it to be PruCan!**

**Reviews are quite loved!**


	6. Forgotten Vacation

**Ugh, it's been forever since I've updated. I feel bad. You can all blame Doctor Who. Anyway, I'm about to get of for a month of Christmas vacation, so I'll probably update lots.**

**If anybody is also a RussAme fan, I've started my RussAme companion for this, so please check it out.**

**Without further ado, I give you today's FML, from Chocola Emo Shizzle. Enjoys.**

**Today, my parents went to the Cayman Islands, leaving me at home in freezing Iowa. Also, even though I never get into trouble, they don't trust me enough to be home on my own. So they hired a babysitter to stay with me until they get back. I'm 17. FML**

Matthew groaned and threw an arm over his eyes to block out the sun. Then he jumped up, tripped over his sheets, and fell face first, all because of the sun. There was not supposed to be sun. He was supposed to wake up at four in the morning to catch a plane with his family which would take them to the Cayman Islands. But there was sun, which means he was at least two hours late. He untangled himself, making it worse for a moment in his rush, and threw open the door to his room.

"Papa?"

He quickly walked to the door at the end of the hall and knocked on it.

"Papa? Dad?"

Slowly opening the door, Matthew peeked inside. The bed was made and the luggage gone.

"Oh, no. No, no, no. Alfred!"

He raced back down the hall and threw open his twin's door. The bed was semi-made, the luggage gone. The boy continued to run through the house calling out "Papa", "Dad", and "Alfred". After ten minutes he had to admit it to himself, his family had forgotten him and went on vacation without him. He did not want to believe it, but somehow he did not have that hard of a time with it. With a sigh, he resigned himself to his fate and sat down to mope in front of the television.

Two hours worth of infomercials were lulling him to sleep when the shrill ring of the phone pulled him back to consciousness.

"'Ello?" he answered when he lifted the phone to his ear.

"Oh, Mathieu! Thank goodness!"

"Papa?"

"Oui. Oh, Mathieu, we're so sorry. We were just so scatter-brained and tired, we simply thought you were asleep and that's why you weren't talking."

"I was asleep."

"Oh, but Mathieu, you know what I mean. But don't worry, we're wiring you money, and I was able to find someone to watch you."

"Find someone… Papa, I'm seventeen!"

"I know, I know. Your father insists. But don't worry, you two will get along great!"

"I don't need a babysitter!"

"I know. Your father just wants to make sure you're okay. He feels so very bad."

"But-"

Three loud bangs originating at the front door cut him off.

"Look, I gotta go, Papa. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Be good. Don't do anything I wouldn't. I love you!"

"I won't do most of the things you would, Papa. Love you too."

Three more loud bangs resounded through the house as Matthew placed the phone down on its receiver.

"I'm coming!"

Matthew opened the door to reveal his papa's albino friend.

"Oh, hello Mist-"

"We've been over this, kid. No calling me "Mister Beilschmidt". It makes me sound like my stuffy little bruder."

"R-right, sorry. Um, Papa isn't here, sorry. He's on vacation."

"Ja, I know. He said he needed someone to look after you."

The blond just stared at the visitor in shock. There was no way, NO WAY, Gilbert Beilschmidt of all people was going to be his babysitter. Matthew was much more mature and responsible than this guy.

"We're going to have a fun two weeks, kid," stated the Prussian as he patted Matthew's head and walked past him into the house.

It was then Matthew decided he hated his parents.

* * *

**Okay, this really wants to become a mini series. What do you say? If I get people saying they want a little mini series, I'll happily make it. If not, then I won't.**

**Please review, whether it's a happy face, a few sentences of praise, constructive criticism, or a request, I love them all!**


	7. A Much Needed Hug

**So many things to address! First of all, I'm trying to update ASAP, and I do write requests first, and I write them in the order I receive them.**

**To those people who requested stories outside the already published RussAme and PruCan, they will be done, but I probably won't start working on them for a couple days, when I get out for Winter Break.**

**There was a resounding 'yes' on continuing the last chapter in its own miniseries. It will be done, but it also won't get worked on for a couple days.**

**It was suggested that I start using MLIAs as well as FMLs. What does the populace think? Yes or no?**

**Okay, now onto the story. This is requested (with a happy ending) from Ayla the Librarian.**

**With all the total and utter crap a friend of mine has put me through (aka running away from his house, only contacting me through e-mail, and basically making my heart feel really conflicted and miserable), I just want to become Spock and get rid of my emotions. But at the same time, I want someone to hug me and tell me that everything will be fine, and that I'm loved. Let's not forget college finals coming up. FML**

Matthew wished it would rain. Was it not supposed to rain at times like this? That's how it always happened in the movies. The characters cried on park benches, but it was okay, because it was raining and no one could tell. It was not raining. It was bright and shining and the birds were singing. No one looked at him though, so it wasn't that different from it raining. Maybe that's why he wanted it to rain. Not so that no one would notice, but so they had a reason not to. At a time like this he really did not need to be reminded that he was invisible to everyone. Another quiet but painful sob wracked his chest.

"Hey, kid, what's wrong?"

Surprised, Matthew looked up into a pair of red eyes.

"S-sorry."

"Hey, now, did I say, 'Hey, kid, stop crying, you're ruining my awesome'? No, I said, 'Hey, kid, what's wrong?' So, tell me. I know you want to talk about it. You're just one of those kinds of people, I can tell."

"W-well, if you're sure…"

"Of course I'm sure. I'm the awesome Gilbert, I'm always sure."

"Um, okay. It's my friend, Morgens. I don't have a lot of friends, but we're pretty close. Well, his mom found his stash, a-and he ran away. I-I don't even know where he is. He's sent me a couple of emails, but he hasn't called me or really told me anything! I don't know what to do. I just wish I didn't have emotions."

Matthew was startled when the stranger, Gilbert, pulled him to his chest.

"No you don't, kid. You can't have the good without the bad. It'll be okay."

That's when he broke down. Matthew cried hard into Gilbert's chest. The Prussian just sat there, rubbing the blond's back and whispering reassuring words. After fifteen minutes, the Canadian was finally able to calm down and rein back his tears.

"Sorry."

"It's cool, kid. And hey, don't you feel better?"

Matthew nodded.

"I still have finals on Monday though."

"Ouch. That sucks."

Matthew gave a strangled laugh, which was cut short when his support was suddenly gone.

"Come on, let's get some coffee. What'd'ya say?"

For a moment, Matthew could only blink up at the man now standing and offering his hand. Then, smiling, he took the hand.

"Yeah, that sounds nice."

As they walked off, Matthew knew everything would be okay. Especially if this angel stayed with him.

* * *

**Okay, this is so a GMH, not an FML. But I was asked for a happy ending, and I love happy endings, so I had to make it like this.**

**Ayla, I know it's been a few weeks, but if you're still having problems, I hope this made you smile.**

**I have some sort of weird fetish thing about Gilbert calling Matthew 'kid', no matter the age gap.**

**And maybe I should tell you who Morgens is? Morgens is Netherlands. On the Netherlands wikia page, it mentions a few of the names that fans have suggested to Himaruya. Morgens was one, and I really liked it.**

**Please review! I love them no matter what. Well, as long as they're positive. (I include constructive criticism as positive. As long as it isn't mean to tear me down it's positive)**


	8. Man Up

**So, I know I suck, and that it took me forever to upload this, and I'm really sorry. I won't spew excuses, because they all suck, too. Instead I'll say this: I have 57 reviews for this story! Thank you! I've decided to give something to the 75th reviewer. I know this entire series is sort of a big request, but I've decided that the 75th review will be given a one-shot, longer than the chapters here and not needing to be in an FML format. So make sure you review!**

**Now onto the story, requested by Ophiouchos.**

**Today I told my boyfriend to try to man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML. **

Matthew Williams paced back and forth, practically wearing a trench in the concrete flooring. He was so angry. No, he was furious. He was _losing_. He would admit he did lose to Russia sometimes, but not now. Not today. Today he was at the top of his game and he should be winning.

"This is all your fault," growled the angry Canadian to his companion.

"What!"

"If you weren't being such a girl then maybe I'd have a better chance to score!"

"Hey! I'm not being a girl! I-"

The man was cut off by the angry face suddenly very close to his own. The voice was soft, but promising death.

"Listen here, _Prussia_. You're going to man up, start acting tougher, get out there on the ice, and kick some Russian ass. And if you don't… well, you don't want to find out what happens if you don't. Do you understand me?"

The former country had to admit, he wasn't sure he'd ever been so terrified in his life and part of him was quite turned on by that fact. The other part was busy blinking away the liquid awesome from his eyes which had sprung up in response to the Canadian's fearsome anger.

Canada straightened up and continued to look at the albino, astonishment now mixing with his anger.

"Are you _crying_?"

"Crying! As if I would cry! That's just my awesome leaking out because it's so great!"

Matthew snorted but said nothing more.

"Come on, half time's almost over. And I'm serious, Gilbert. If we don't win, you're getting punished."

A silver brow rose at the retreating back of the younger male and Gilbert wondered what punishment his lover had in mind.

* * *

**No extra Author's Notes this time. Remember to review!**


	9. Awkward Family Dinner

**This one is a request from myself, for my birthday! Although my birthday technically ended ten minutes ago... Anyway, I'm 19! And you know what I want for my birthday? A _live_ pretty Welsh tea boy. And I mean a certain one, I didn't just wake up with a craving. Although, if you can't get me that, I'm good with reviews, too.**

**Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. ****Turns out he dated my mom. ****This should be a fun dinner. ****FML**

Matthew sighed and looked at his watch.

"We're going to be late!"

"You can't rush awesomeness, Mattie!"

"I thought you were always awesome?"

Gilbert walked down the stairs, frown fixed on his face.

"I am always awesome," stated the albino.

The Canadian gave a fond smile at the man's appearance and stepped forward to smooth his hands over the black fabric of the dress shirt.

"You look nice. Thank you."

"It was insinuated that I would be rewarded."

"You will. _If _you behave all night."

The older man rolled his eyes.

"Let's get a move on then, time to meet the folks."

Matthew followed his lover out to the car, happy the man had agreed to play nice when meeting Matthew's parents, and slid into the driver's seat. The drive to Matthew's parents mostly consisted of the blond giving his lover tips on how to stay on his father's good side, and Gilbert coming to the conclusion that it was simply impossible. Matthew reluctantly agreed that this was most likely the case as they pulled to a stop in front of a two-story Victorian home. The couple walked together up to the door and rang the bell. The man who answered the door was shorter than Gilbert with large, prominent eyebrows. He wore a no-nonsense look and a sweater vest.

"You must be Gilbert."

The man in question nodded and reached out his hand in greeting.

"It's nice to meet you, Mister Kirkland-Bonnefoy."

The Englishman shook his hand before turning to Matthew.

"Come on in, your father is putting the finishing touches on dinner."

Arthur lead the couple to the dining room where he indicated the seat just left of the head to Gilbert. Matthew sat beside his boyfriend, just across from where his brother, Alfred sat. The three made small talk, their father quiet at the head of the table, until the meal was brought out. Matthew was too engaged with what his brother was saying when his French father walked in to notice Gilbert's shocked look.

"Franny?"

At the sound of the nickname, both brothers became curious and stopped talking.

"My, my. It has been quite some time since I have been called by that name, Gilbert."

"You… know each other?" asked Matthew in confusion.

"I should say so. I dated Gilbert when he was a junior in high school."

Matthew could not believe what he was hearing. Although, when he thought about it, Gilbert was ten years his senior, and it would have been before his papa had finally made Arthur agree to a date.

"Arthur, isn't this fantastic? Gilbert will be very good for our Mathieu!"

Arthur, up until this point deathly quiet, suddenly exploded.

"Fantastic? This is horrible! I know all about your past, Francis Bonnefoy, and there is no way I am letting this scum stay with my innocent Matthew. The things the pervert could do to him!"

"Wait," halted Gilbert, looking between Francis and Matthew. "Mattie can't really be your son."

"Of course he is! Surely I mentioned I had a son when we were together? Oh, I'm sure I did. And just look, obviously he is my son. He inherited my hair!"

"Well, now I know where his abilities in bed come from."

Alfred looked between the other persons in the room with a look of astonishment and amusement, simply exclaiming, "Dude!"

Matthew buried his face in his hands. Tonight was going to be a long night.

* * *

**I hope everyone liked it. If anyone's wondering, I split the ages up ten years between Matthew and Gilbert, and about eight years between Gilbert and Francis.**

**Gilbert did _not_ get rewarded.**

**Please review? For my birthday?**


	10. Alone in the Library

**I hit the 75-mark! You guess make me so happy! Lucky number 75 was , who requested a UKxFem!AmericaxRussia love triangle with some good ol' pregnancy soap opera drama! I'll be working on that, but have no promises on when I'll get it done. Hopefully in the next week or two. And hopefully before the 100-mark, because I feel that's quite a milestone, and should also receive a one-shot.**

**Anyway, before we get started, did anyone else get snow/ice? I haven't been to classes since Monday, and the monotony has really drained my creativity.**

**Also, everyone should watch Alexander, because it's one of my favorite movies and Alexander and Hephastian are probably one of my favorite couples of all time. And they're cannon. Historical cannon, the best kind. I watched that movie when I started writing this, so it totally has a right to be mentioned.**

**Okay, on with the story now, requested by xxassassinxx18:**

**My boyfriend and I help out in the school library, and since the librarian****knows we are both too socially awkward to do anything weird, she put us in the****back room to sort out the donated books and clear out the shelves. After****working for a while, we split up the jobs to get it done faster. I was****cleaning and he was sorting out the books. I accidentally hit the lights and****the next thing I know I on the ground, having tripped and he had tripped over****me. It was a weird position... and to make things worse, my little sister and****his little brother walked in right then, the librarian right behind them. Good****thing is the librarian just laughed, bad thing is, my little sis told my mum,****then she just laughed and called me a klutz.**

"I don't want to go in there, Birdie!" cried the albino, grinding his heels into the pavement.

"What are you talking about, Gilbert?" questioned the blond Canadian, looking back at his boyfriend. "You go in there all the time."

"That's different. That's not volunteering, that's reading about Prussian history."

Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Right, sorry. Prussia justifies everything."

"Duh."

Matthew sighed and began pulling the other boy behind him again.

"Just come one."

"Antonio's right, you're making me soft!"

The Canadian hummed and opened the door to the library. The librarian looked and smiled at the boys.

"Ah, just in time! There's some books that need sorting in the back room."

Gilbert gave a hiss-like chuckle and leered at Matthew.

"Back room, huh?"

The librarian rolled her eyes.

"Go on, get to it."

The two walked to the back room where two boxes of books awaited them.

"Okay, you start sorting, I'll tidy up."

Gilbert groaned.

"But, Matt-"

A sharp look from the room's other occupant stopped the whine.

"Fine."

The two began their separate projects, random small talk peppering the silence. After some time, Matthew finished with his tidying and went to help finish sorting. As he was walking to Gilbert's side, his foot caught the leg of the table. He nearly face planted, but caught himself. Unfortunately, he over corrected and fell on his back, arms waving comically and catching the light switch on the way down.

"Birdie? You okay?"

There was a bit of shuffling, and then Matthew had a crotch full of what he could only assume was Gilbert's face. The door opened, pouring light on the two in their compromising positions. Matthew angled his head back to look at the additions to the room. There was the librarian, who laughed and flicked the light back on, Ludwig, Gilbert's younger brother, who was blushing and averting his eyes, and Peter, Matthew's youngest brother, looking as if he had made a great discovery.

"Papa!" cried Peter, turning and rushing past the librarian. "Papa! Gilbert had his head in Matthew's lap! And it was dark!"

Francis chuckled as he reached the room just as Matthew and Gilbert were righting themselves.

"Oh, Mathieu, you are quite the little klutz, oui?"

* * *

**I feel like this is more of an FML for Matthew than Assassin. If France thinks you aren't doing anything alone in a dark room with a Prussian face on your crotch, you suck.**

**Fail ending is fail. I told you, snow eats up my creativity. And this took me forever to write. Assassin, I can not for the life of me figure out how you managed this. You are quite talented. **


	11. Arranged

**So... it's been forever. I've been working on two longer requests, but I really wanted to get something out during Spring Break, so I whipped this up. I was actually planning on making this one longer, but it would turn into a whole series, and I'm so not ready to take that on.**

**Tomorrow I'm going to an anime/sci-fi convention (All-Con, for anyone in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area)! I'm super excited because a) Con! and b) my little sister will be going with me! It'll be her first Con and she's going as Flying Mint Bunny! She's only eleven, I'm so proud of her nerdiness!**

**Okay, I'll stop getting my excitement all over you now. Here's Arranged requested by iTorphic:**

**The guy I like is supposed to be in an arranged marriage but it just so ****happens that he likes me too. So, now we're secretly dating with the help of ****our friends and a secret code system and names in stuff due to his siblings ****being in the school too. He plans to drop off the face of the earth after high****school to everyone but me and our friends. It's a Romeo and Juliet romance and ****we all know how that turned out. FML**

Why don't things ever turn out the way they should? Why can't I just be happy for once? These were the thoughts that ran through Matthew Williams mind as he watched the man he loved joke around with said man's betrothed. The albino said something that got him slapped, and Matthew was sure it was deserved. The man seemed unbothered by the slap, instead just laughing his unusual laugh and turning around. His eyes lit up as they landed on Matthew. He bound over to the blond, threw his arms around him and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"I didn't even see you, Mattie! Sometimes you're so invisible!"

Matthew scooted a bit away from Gilbert, causing Gilbert to frown.

"What's wrong, Birdie? Is it 'cause I said you were invisible?"

The hockey player shook his head. "Elisabeta is right there."

"So?" scoffed Gilbert. "She'd love to see us. The girl's a freak."

"Gilbert, she's your fiancée."

"Not by choice."

"I know," mumbled Matthew.

"Hey," said the albino, lifting Matthew's chin to meet his eyes. "I know this all sucks. Trust me; I'm tired of all the sneaking around, too. I'm especially tired of your brother 'helping'. I'm not tired of being called 'Prussia', though. Prussia's awesome. You should call me that in bed."

Matthew lifted his eyebrow.

"Right, I was saying something. I know it's tiring. I do, Birdie. But it will only be a few more months, then I graduate and I'll leave and I'll belong to you and you alone."

"But what about Elisabeta? You are her friend, aren't you worried about hurting her?"

"Elisa? Please! She doesn't want to be with me! We're friends and all, but there's no way she can handle all my awesome like you can and she knows it. And she's in love with my dork of a cousin, Roderich, for some reason. Plus, all we have to do is send her a few pictures of us kissing and we're all forgiven!"

Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Okay, what about your brother, hmm?"

The German's gaze shifted to the ground.

"Ludwig will be fine. He doesn't need his big bruder anymore."

"Gilbert."

The man in question looked up, his eyes softer than usual.

"We'll make it work, Mattie. We'll be like Romeo and Juliet."

Matthew frowned.

"Have you read the ending of Romeo and Juliet?"

"No. But they're like super romantic, right?"

"They die in the end. They both kill themselves."

"Oh. Not like Romeo and Juliet then. Well, we can just be like Gilbert and Matthew, huh?"

A small smile moved across Matthew's face. Gilbert took his lover's face between his hands and looked into his eyes.

"It will all be okay."

Matthew knew that was not true. How could this all turn out okay? But as he looked into Gilbert's determined eyes, he knew he could pretend it would all be okay, if just for now.

* * *

**OTL This feels so rushed (because it was), but I honestly don't know if I can do any better with it. Some times that just happens, I guess.**

**WOO CON!**


	12. Australian Kiss

**It has been so long since I have updated! I'm so sorry! I was working on other things and stuff happened and... yeah. But I do have finals next week, and after that I pretty much have nothing to do... for a month and a half... so I'll be writing a lot.**

**In other news, I have 94 reviews! And even though I haven't _technically _finished my last prize fic, for personal reasons, mind you, I'm going to offer a fic to the 100th review. I mean, that's a mile stone, baby!**

**Anyway, this prompt by Yuri N Chuka.**

**Earlier this week my boyfriend's best friend asked me if I wanted an Australian Kiss. I asked if it was some kind of food, and he told me that he could show me if I wanted. All the sudden my boyfriend barrels out of nowhere and hits him over the head with a textbook. I ask him what an Australian kiss is and he says that it's like French Kiss, only 'Down under'. I stupidly reply with, "Under what? You're foot? Cause I'm not making out with anyone's feet." the sad thing is that I was completely serious. FML **

Matthew loved the library. It was quiet and he could get his homework done. The Canadian loved his boyfriend, but he was loud and boisterous and it made it hard for Matthew to get anything done. So every day Matthew spent an hour in the school library, which is where he was when he was interrupted by his cousin. The Frenchman sat across from the younger man and, when he wasn't noticed right away, waved a hand in his face. Matthew was so startled he visibly jumped and made a noise of surprise.

"O-oh, h-hello, Francis."

"Bonjour, Mathieu."

The two stared at each other for a few moments before Matthew nervously stammered, "D-Do you need something?"

"Oh, no," replied Francis. "I am waiting for Gilbert to get out of detention. I assume that is what you are doing as well, oui?"

"Um, I'm doing homework, actually. But I suppose I'll leave once Gilbert does…"

Matthew tried to get back to his work when Francis didn't respond, but he had a hard time concentrating when his cousin sat there staring at him. He knew he should have been used to it by this time, since it was something his cousin had done from a young age, but it still made him feel awkward.

"So, Mathieu," interrupted the Frenchman after a few awkward moments. "Would you like an Australian kiss?"

"A-a what?"

"An Australian kiss."

"Is that like, some kind of food or something? I do like your cooking."

Francis grinned. "I could show you, if you like?"

They were both surprised when Gilbert appeared out of nowhere, hitting Francis on the head with a textbook.

"What have I told you about hitting on Mattie? You shouldn't even have to be told not to do it, he's your cousin."

"You hit on your brother all the time!"

"Wha- I don- I would never actually- Why wou-"

"Um, hey," muttered Matthew, interrupting Gilbert's flustered stuttering. "Can someone tell me what an Australian kiss is?"

"Oh," stated Gilbert, calmer now that he wasn't trying to defend himself. "It's like a French kiss, but, you know, 'down under'."

Matthew's brow furrowed in confusion. "Under what? Your foot? I'm not making out with anyone's foot."

The other two males stared at the youngest for a couple of seconds before bursting into laughter. Matthew's cheeks burned red as he realized what he said.

"Oh, well, Birdie," gasped Gilbert between laughs. "At least you're cute."


End file.
